Without You
by A.Z-JusticE
Summary: How much will Ryoma and Sakuno change after being away from eachother for 1 & half years?
1. Default Chapter

Chapter 01 - Familiar Face  
  
"That damn Kaidoh mamushi pulling stupid stunts during practice, pisses me off with his attitude!! Argh! He hasn't changed even though we're in highschool!!" Momo-senpai was raving on and on about Kaidoh senpai. "Teh..mada mada dane." I muttered. Same thing happens everyday while we walk home from club. High school seems to be the same as Junior High. All the senpais are here, and we're all in the Tennis Club. Horio and the rest are still as noisy, but at least they've been able to play rather than being ball boys. Everything is the same, but I was never prepared for what was to come.  
  
'Nice weather today', I thought. Cherry blossom season. Cherry blossoms flying everywhere. They can get terribly annoying, but they're not that bad for tennis practice. Should have a game with Oyaji.  
  
"Te-me Mamushi, I'll teach him a lesso-oi Echizen." Momo-senpai lowered his voice to a whisper. "Nanda." "Look at that girl. The one by the Holy Tree. Kawaii don't you think." "uhhnn..mada mada da-", I stopped in my tracks. She was from our school.hmm she carried a tennis bag.long brown hair flowed down her back.who was she? She suddenly turned and looked at us, which I'm pretty sure we looked like idiots, standing there staring stupidly at her. Those deep brown eyes...seems familiar. She looked at us.seeming a little startled at first. She turned so that she fully faced us, her hair was blowing gently around her.and her eyes never left mine. "eh..Ryoma-kun, Momoshiro senpai. Konnichi wa." She said smiling. "Momo-chan de ii yo," (Just call me momo-chan). Momo senpai said laughing stupidly. Her smile deepened briefly, then her eyes flashed up. "ahh I forgot about practice! Ja-ne Ryoma kun, Momo-senpai!" she hurried off past us.  
  
"Momo senpai..DEH!! OI!" Momo senpai had gone in a daze. I poked him but he didn't respond, I smiled "KAIDOH SENPAI!!!" I yelled.  
  
"Ung where where?" he snapped out of his trance. "no where, you're back." "BAKA YAROU!... Do you know who that was?" he asked.  
  
"Saa." We started walking again and then suddenly it hit us.  
  
"Ryuzaki Sakuno!" we cried in unison. "Echizen, you idiot! She's in the same grade as you, possibly in the same class too, how can you miss such a pretty girl? Come to think of it, she doesn't come around to watch us practice anymore huh..what did you do to your girlfriend?!!" momo-senpai asked. "Saa..." I kept walking with my hands behind my head. "She left Seigaku junior high after you graduated, senpai. Basically she's been away .... until we just saw her again. Come to think of it, I might have seen her around school and in class..DEH..girlfriend?" Momo-senpai bopped me on the head. "Baka. Alright see you tomorrow! Looks like it's going to rain. Hurry home!" he called.  
  
"Tadaima"  
  
"Okaeri nasai Ryoma kun", my cousin called. "Dinner will be done in a short while." "Ah." I muttered and went up to my room and flopped on my bed. 'Ryuzaki.Sakuno' Images of her from this afternoon flashed through my mind. How she's changed.from what I can remember of her that is. I rolled over and fell asleep quickly. 


	2. Early Morning

Chapter 02 - Early Morning  
  
"O CHIBI!!!!" Before I could respond, I was bowled over by Eiji-senpai, at the front gates of school. "Uhn, nya! Arent we early today? Practise?" he asked. "What else does it look like senpai." I replied bluntly. "Ahahah.I guess so. Let's go! Iku yo!!" he threw his arm around me and dragged me along. "uhn nya? Someone is here already? And I thought I was early." Eiji-senpai said peering into the courts. "Ara..a girl? Hm hmm, quite good nya." "Da-re.. Sakuno," I watched as she hit the ball against the wall. Her strokes and movement were nice, much more improved than how she used to be, but what surprised me was that she was constantly hitting at the one spot, with a lot of power.for a girl that is. To think she came this, not bad at all. "Sakuno? 'Mada mada dane nya'is it?", Eiji-senpai tried to imitate me. "Saa." and I walked on. "Oh!! No wonder Echizen is here early. His little girlfriend is here too!!" a loud voice appeared out of nowhere. "Urusai! Momo-senpai." I hissed at momo. "Nani nani, Chibi's girlfriend?? Oi Chibi!" Eiji pounced on me and started tackling. "Ryuzaki-chan!!!" Momo-senpai called out. "Woah!!"  
  
Eiji and I stopped fooling around and looked up at Momo, then at Ryuzaki again. She had made a dent in the wall! Furthermore when Momo called out to her, her last strike was so hard it flew right past her, and rebounded off the fencing and she caught it with her racket. Well I suppose we could do that, but of all people, Sakuno can do that?  
  
The concentration on her face disappeared and she jogged towards us. "Momo senpai, Kikumaru senpai, Ryoma kun. You're very early," she panted slightly. "You're earlier," they replied in unison. "Oh..I had some assignment to catch up to this morning. I completed it early so I thought I might as well practice some tennis." She said. "How about you practice with us, it's not very fun hitting against an opponent that can't move ..darou?" Momo-senpai suggested. "Alright" she agreed and followed him to the guys court. 


	3. First Round

Chapter 03 - The first round  
  
"Let's start, one set match. How's that Ryuzaki chan?" Momo said. "Ii yo. Yoroshiku onegaishimasu senpai." She replied. "Really, what is Momo-senpai thinking, going against Sakuno like that." I muttered sitting down with his legs crossed against the fence. "Ehh? Sakuno hey? That girl from Junior high.getting close are we nya?" Eiji-senpai teased. "Teh," I pulled down my cap and observed the match.  
  
Sakuno was serving. It all happened too fast and before they knew it, the ball had flown past Momo. She had aced it! The look of surprise on Momo's face was clear that he was ready just didn't see it. As the game continued, I saw that she wasn't the same person as she was before. She played with a certain style, but no matter what it was, all her movements were very graceful and precise. "uhn nya..she's very good, and kawaii too." Eiji-senpai grinned and watched the game intensely. Some of the moves she pulled off surprised the three of us. "Ahh, interesting." I heard Fuji senpai comment. Everyone but Oishi senpai was there. Capatain Tezuka, like usual watched in silence with that serious look on his face. The score was now 6-4 in Sakuno's favor, 7-5 in Momo's and now they were in a tie-break. It looked like she was having a lot of fun. From here it just looked like she's having as much fun as she would wandering around in a park.  
  
"Inui! You're taking data of her?!" Eiji-senpai cried, scooting over to look in Inui's notebook.  
  
"Very interesting data, her movements are almost like she's performing a type of martial arts. Her moves a fast, sharp and the way she's holding the racket is correct, but it's almost the same as using a sword or weapon. Her racket swings are fancy but she is able to maneuver moves that are able to enhance her chances of hitting the ball." "Sugoii da nya." Eiji senpai said in awe. Even Eiji senpai is impressed, the acrobatic player.she must be real good then. "Momo chan senpai's Dunk Smash!!" Horio voice yelled out. I focused back on the match. She's done for.she's too far to her right, and the smash was towards her left. Suddenly she made a quick dash to her left spun so that her back was towards Momo-senpai and she skillfully hit the ball with a backhand. Her posture was still like those samurai or ninjas after they just did a jump kill. (looked like Fuji senpai's Higuma Otoshi posture) "Sugoii na."  
  
"who's that girl?" "She's so good" "She returned Momo senpai's dunk smash." Around me voices were talking with awe. Unfortunately the next point was the final point which she lost, which concluded the game as Momo-senpai's win. "Arigato gozaimasu, senpai. Thanks for going easy on me." She said as they shook hands. "Yah hahah, you're quite a challenger. Maybe we'll play again sometime." He laughed. "Sure. Well I have to get going, have to talk to a sensei. Bye senpai!". She hurriedly packed up and ran off the courts pass all her admirers. I looked at the guys who were staring at her. I wonder if they were admiring her skills or just checking her out. "Good game, Momoshiro," Captain Tezuka said. "ahhh I'm tired. She had so many unexpected moves. Damn quick too! Your girlfriend is real good Echizen." Momo-senpai lay on the ground panting in front of us. "GIRLFRIEND?!!!" everyone cried. (Except Tezuka, Fuji and Inui that is) "Urusai senpai." Momo senpai laughed loudly. Then they all left for class still talking about Sakuno. I quietly followed them, with Horio tachi ahead of me. "Uhn..a-re." A bracelet? Sakuno's? She'll find it if she comes back, I decided to keep walking, but then I changed my mind and returned to retrieve it. 


	4. Her Story

Chapter 04 - Her Story  
  
We sat down as class began. I took a quick scan of the room. She was in my class after all. She's so quiet these days. She doesn't seem to be making any conversations like she used to, even though she had nothing to say. She spoke small, stuttered a lot and her cheeks were always pink. She was practically invisible with her noisy annoying friend during junior high.  
  
All day I found myself either dozing off a lot or staring at her back. Finally recess came around and I headed off to my favourite place.  
  
* * *  
  
"Uhn nya, you should have seen her Oishi! She was really good. If I could move like that bah, it would be good. She was in a tight game with Momo chan, she almost had him too nya!!" Eiji was excitedly informing Oishi who had missed out on the morning match. "She, who?" "Ehh... chibi's girlfriend. Inui what's her name?" "Ryuzaki Sakuno. 162cm. Right-handed. Possibly left too. Style: Still unknown. Percentage of hitting a-" "Yeh Ryuzaki Sakuno. You remember her?" "Vaguely I do. So she's a pro now is she?" Oishi said with interest. "uhn uhn," Eiji nodded vigorously. "and cute too," "Echizen's girlfriend?!!" Oishi finally realized. Eiji shrugged. "Ask momo." "Although she hasn't quite perfected her skills, she's very VERY good." Fuji said setting down his tray of food at their table. "I want to play her sometime." "You do too, don't you Tezuka," Oishi said smiling. He only grunted at them.  
  
* * *  
  
The air is so nice. This place is so peaceful. I can hear voices of the students in the distance, but only faintly. I stood up against the fencing and looked over the school grounds.  
  
'Ii na. Kimochi." I thought as the wind blew around me. It's pretty quiet without Tomo-chan with me. I giggled softly. 'Eh?' I stood still and listened for the sound of chirping. A baby bird. I looked around for it. I spotted a tiny one outside the fence trying to fly. There was a hole I could climb through.but I would have to be careful in case I fall off the top of the school building. I crawled out to it, so I wouldn't scare it, but before I could reach it, it opened its wings and finally flew off after so many attempts. I sighed and stood up. I glanced down, it WAS a fair way up, but it didn't look that scary.  
  
* * *  
  
'Finally, away from that noise'. DEH!! Sakuno?!! She's outside the fencing, does she plan to jump? I bolted out to her. I made a quick grab for her and pulled her off the ledge and through the hole in the fence. "Eh?!" she cried. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT THERE!!" I yelled. I breathed heavily. "Ano.I saw a baby bird out there and I was going to bring it in, but it flew off," she said staring at him with her big eyes. "Baka." I muttered and sighed a sigh of relief. "Ryoma-kun?" "Nanda." "I..you're..um," I then realized I was still had one arm around her and one holding her hand. I let go like I had touched fire. "Teh..." I turned my back on her and sat down. She started laughing gently. "What's so funny?!" I snapped. "Just your reaction was so very unexpected. I thought it would have been. 'What are you doing baka. Mada mada dane'" she did a good imitation of me. She seated herself a distance from him on the ledge of the inside the fence. "Warugattana." We sat in silence for a long time. Oddly enough, it was a silence I found unnerving. I never cared about what was around me. "So-so where have you been after you left Seigaku?" I asked quietly not facing her. "I returned to Wakayama." "Why?" "My parents were in an accident. They died." She said with no emotion in her voice. "Eh." I finally turned to face her. She was leaning forward, staring down at her out stretched legs, hands beside her.. Although her voice had no emotion, the sorrow was clear in her eyes. "gomen." I said abruptly to cut her thoughts. "Ii yo. Betsuni". (Its ok. It's nothing) she shook her head and smiled at him.  
  
How can you say it's nothing? You're not the type of person not to care. You cared about others even if you had to go out of your way or was being pushed away. Teh, who am I kidding, me understanding people?'  
  
"You've changed." I said before I knew I had said it. "Hmm..have I?." she looked at me for an answer but before I could, "So I have. Things change. People change gradually due to time or impacts. You've changed too Ryoma-kun. You're more..open, more friendlier and not so cold. Senpai tachi have a good impact on you." "Ja..you've changed because of." she gave one nod. Jumped up and walked around. "Tell me about it?" "Eh..hontou? I don't want to talk about it if you're not going to listen Ryoma kun." She said. She's pretty open too. She seems to have gotten me. The old me. "I'll listen." I lay back, hands behind my heads and looked up at her expectantly. "Start anywhere. Take as long as you want. I don't feel like going back to class." "Sou ka. I guess at first I didn't believe they were gone.so I acted as if they weren't. Finally the day to bury them came.and it shocked me so much that it was true. I went into withdrawal for four weeks.but not once did I cry. Then I suddenly felt a lot of anger. I saw my racket under my bed, so I took it outside to smash something. I don't know how, I don't know why, but I got better. Then I suppose, to keep myself occupied was the best thing to do.for that period of time. I practiced everyday.at any hour I could. Sometimes I never went home or came home really late. My cousin would accompany me now and then, and he suggested I take classes. Fighting classes. It would be safer to be in various classes then be out at street courts in the middle of the night." "Ja.you really do you use fighting techniques in tennis." She shrugged. "I use whatever. I'm not skilled, I don't plan or have tactics or strategies. I just use whatever is in my mind."  
  
"So.what forms did you learn."  
  
"A lot.I can't remember them all. But martial arts, tai chi, tae kwon do, gymnastics, kendo, judo, and most sword forms across china and more. "DEH why so many." "I don't know, I wanted to be occupied. I didn't care about anything but those classes. I gradually returned to tennis. Through out all that I had a private tutor since I didn't want to return to school."  
  
She talked a lot, but it wasn't about her feelings. Her sorrow. No matter how occupied, that pain had to be there right? Sakuno, in such a short time you've come so far. You weren't gifted I admit that, but your determination, anger, and sorrow really took you this far? Suddenly she giggled. "Don't stare at me like that Ryoma-kun. Daijoubu desu yo. Really. It's the past.I'm alright now." she smiled again looking cute. I stood up and looked at my feet.. "Daijoubu janai." I clenched my fists, then looked right into her eyes. She looked away this time. "I have to be, don't I" it was more of a statement than a question. "There's no reason to be sad over what I couldn't help." "BAKA!" I cried and grabbed her wrist. "Why are you so angry?!" she yanked her hand out of my grip. "Nanka. You're both here!" momo-senpai's voice rang out. Sakuno regained her composure and left silently. "Oiya? What did you do Echizen." He gave a knowing smile. "Betsuni." What IS wrong with me. Why did I get so angry. 


	5. Realization

Chapter 05 - Realization  
  
"Hai, Momo senpai! Dozo." "Hehe arigato." Momo was bombarded with the first year girls who gave him cookies. His admirers. They ran off giggling out what he never knew. He walked along the school yards whistling and hands in pockets, when he heard murmuring and whispers coming from the 2nd gym. He peeked inside through the slightly open sliding doors. "Sugoii na." "Who is she?"  
  
"I don't know, she's been here for a few months, but I don't know." Momo blinked, "Ryuzaki chan," he whispered. There she was, dressed in a kimono. Not the fancy traditional type, but the type you wear to do archery. He looked down at her target. "Nani? Only one?" but then his eyes trailed down to the ground. There lay a few other arrows. She was now lining up another arrow and shot it. It knocked the one on the board off and replaced it right in the centre. "Holy." "Oi senpai, what are you doing? Perving on the girls are you?" "SHH Echizen. Come here and watch this."  
  
I widened my eyes as I saw what Momo-senpai was watching. Sakuno. I couldn't believe it. All day I tried to get her out of my thoughts, and now I see her everywhere I go. She looked ever more beautiful with her hair tied up with a ribbon. When she was done, she bowed and headed off.  
  
"Let's go senpai." I needed to think some more, or rather get rid of my thoughts.  
  
* * *  
  
I shuffled around endlessly on my bed that night. I couldn't get to sleep and I was becoming restless. I looked at my clock. 11:58 pm. "Muri da" I got up and slipped into some pants and a jacket. I left the house quietly and walked along quietly, listening to the night bugs as well as the own shuffling of my own feet. I walked for a long time, not knowing where I was going, or even having the intention of stopping. I finally stopped at a park/basketball/tennis area and glanced at my watch. 01:12 am. I've been out this long already. I don't even know where this place is. "Sakuno no baka!!" "Eh." I walked around the brick wall, and there she was. The girl who had taken control of my thoughts all day. She threw down her racket and it slid to my feet. I picked it up and was about to chastise her, when I saw that she was sitting on the ground crying. "but not once did I cry" she had said. I advanced up to her and didn't know what to do so I just stood by her side and watched. She couldn't feel my presence for so long that I had to crouch down and put my hand on her shoulder. Her reflexes were quick, and lucky for me I managed to dodge getting a black eye. I caught her flailing wrists. "Ryo- ryoma----kun. Doushite koko ni." "What about you? It's late here! It's dangerous for a girl to be out here by herself. Especially a girl beautiful as you---" I coughed my words and looked away. "Anyhow, do you know the danger you're putting yourself in?!" "I know." "Why then?!" "What's it to you Ryoma-kun?!" "Saa.." I loosened my grip on her, and pulled her onto her feet. "I didn't come back here to be yelled at by you! I wanted to return to a normal life! What is wrong with the people here?! Can' they get past the point that I no longer have parents?! They'll never understand!" she cried. I watched her falter in her words. I saw her pain, I realized that her words this morning were all lies. She was hurting as much as anyone else, even more. That much I could tell, but of course no one could understand it better than her. We could stand here and talk about it, soothe her, sympathise with her, but we won't be taking that pain to bed every night with us.  
  
*Ryuzaki*  
  
I stared angrily up at him. Despite my chest heaving and falling heavily, my clenched fists, my outburst, he looked at me with a different look. It wasn't the cold stare he used to have. I became scared of that look, although not long ago, I would have given everything to receive a look like that from him. "Hanase yo!" I tried to pull my wrists free from his grasp. He pulled me forward and encircled his arms around my waist. My eyes widened with disbelief. "I've missed you, Sakuno." I bowed my head onto his shoulder and cried freely. "Nande.nande." I whispered hoarsely, although not really caring if there was an answer. "I don't know Sakuno..at first I didn't know.and I also didn't care. But I was also angry that you didn't tell us. You just left. I couldn't feel your presence during my matches, but I thought you were there, because that friend of yours was so loud.so I thought you'd be by her side. When I finally realized that you weren't, I went to look for your grandmother, but of course she wasn't there either. You faded in and out my thoughts and dreams. Sometimes you're not in my thoughts and suddenly then next you are. I don't know what it is, but I want you to know this. Sakuno, I don't know how or why, but I know that we can't understand the suffer you're going through, but I want you to know that it's ok to admit your pain."  
  
I listened to him talk. This is the most he's ever said to me. He was always short, sharp and blunt to the point of annoyance.  
  
*Ryoma  
  
I couldn't believe this. I was saying all this stuff that I never knew I had in me. I was talking a lot too. "You've changed.Ryoma-kun." She said into my chest. "..how." "You never use to talk like this.actually you never use to talk at all. You snapped and ignored, and you never called me by my name, not even Ryuzaki.  
  
I chuckled slightly, then caught myself. I'm laughing? I do this all the time with the senpais, but this is a first with a girl. They were usually rather annoying. I eased her away from my chest and looked at her. "Come on, let's go home. Well more like I'll take you home. How far from here?" "Um.about 45-50 minutes." "WHAT!!" "What?" "You're out here this late? And it's going to take you that long to get home on foot?"  
  
She nodded at me like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Taku.you're really putting yourself in danger you know." "Not really. The way I'm dressed no one will it's me or rather a girl." I took at good look at her. She was dressed in baggy clothes with a beanie on her head, but her hair was still flowing out under it. Who was she kidding. Anyone could tell she was a girl, and a pretty one at that. She was also small, petite and delicate, no guy was like that. I just shook my head at her. I crouched down and retrieved her racket then I went to put everything in her bag. "Saa iko. Show me the way." I carried her bag on one shoulder then reached for her hand. We walked hand in hand silently. Her hand was so soft and small, and it fit right into my own. It felt really comforting, and maybe, just maybe I'm feeling more for her than I thought I ever could. I was debating myself inside my head at just how or when did I feel this for her. It had been a while before she returned but I couldn't distinct it. I was so into my thoughts I didn't even hear her calling me. "Ryoma-kun.what's wrong?"  
  
"Betsuni.." "Ahh sou. I was wondering.what are you doing here, you don't live around this area. You live..a while away." "I do, but I couldn't sleep tonight (because of you) so I went for a walk, I just kept walking and found myself here." Almost like I was drawn here. "It's too far and late for you to walk back now." she looked at her house, and her fingers tightened around mine. "How about you stay for the night. It wouldn't be any good if something happened to you, or you didn't catch enough sleep for tomorrow." I looked at her as if she was crazy. She burst out laughing at my expression. "Of course you'll get your own room. No weird ideas please." How did she know what I was thinking. "Err what about your grandmother?" I could just imagine the old hag going off at me. Firstly at where they've been, why they're so late. Then she'd ask why he was there in the first place since she left alone. I shuddered at the thought. "My grandmother.doesn't live here. She's not in Tokyo anymore, or at the moment really." "She's not? So you live alone?" She nodded looking up at the small house. "How do you support yourself and how long has this been?" "It's been about.2 ½ months, since I came back from Wakayama. This house is actually ours, so no rent payment, all payments gets paid to Wakayama. I will be starting work in two weeks, so I'll be alright. Come let's go inside, it's getting cold out here." She tugged my hand and I followed her. "Hai..irashai." she said as we stepped in. I closed the front door behind me. "Are you hungry?" I shook my head. The house was so empty and quiet, it was eery, and yet she was still acting cheerful about it. She turned on her lights, then she took my hand again. "Here is the spare room. The bathroom is just down the hall over there, and my room is just across from yours. Make yourself at home. Goodnight Ryoma-kun." She smiled and turned to head off. "Matte." I grabbed her arm. "A-are you ok? I mean, will you be ok?" I was referring to the courts before. She smiled that smile of hers and stepped towards me. She rested her head on my shoulder, arms wrapped around my waist, and my arms automatically encircled her once more.  
  
"Thank you so much for tonight Ryoma-kun. You have changed a lot. A lot of people change for the better. The old you was good.a little scary but I still liked you like that, but now, you've matured a lot. You have fun but you are still careful and quiet with certain things. I've changed, through not friendship like you have with the senpais, but over something else. It's something that no one can understand, even you Ryoma-kun. I don't mean to insult you, although your words are of great comfort to me, no one can understand it. Please try not to involve yourself again because it would only frustrate you." She told me in a calm voice.  
  
She lifted her head and looked at me. "If I didn't know better, I would have thought that you had taken a great liking to my way of losing my pigtails. But Ryoma-kun is Ryoma-kun, he doesn't change that much and suddenly involves a girl in his life, neh?" she smiled and walked out of the room closing the door with a soft click. But I have changed that much, maybe not a lot, but in that area you least expect it Sakuno.  
  
*Sakuno* I leaned against my door. It took every ounce not to confess to him. He seemed so.gentle and worried, I almost mistook it for something else. I thought after almost 1 ½ years I would get over him, I never expected to come back and him becoming like this. I'm so drawn to him and I keep seeing him and I don't get the chance to refuse my liking for him. 


	6. Date?

Chapter 06 - Date?  
  
*Ryoma*  
  
I woke up from the streak of sunshine that was peaking out under the blinds. I couldn't figure out where I was. I stared up at the ceiling for a long time trying to clear my vision. Then I got up and saw soft fluffy toys on the shelves. Sakuno. This was Sakuno's house. My watch read 6:30am. I never woke up this early without an alarm. I decided to get up and trudged to the bathroom. She had laid out a new toothbrush and towel all ready for me. I freshened myself up and headed downstairs.  
  
"Ohayo Ryoma-kun. Here's breakfast." I looked at her small table, she had made a japanese breakfast. I definitely liked those better than the English breakfast, don't know why my mama likes it so much. "It's nothing fancy, but I suppose it'll hold you up until you reach home for a real breakfast." "It's good" I said between swallows. "Yokatta." She sat down with her own portion and began eating. "I guess you'll be leaving afterwards right?" I thought about it. I didn't really want to, but I guess I should. "Probably. What about you, what you doing today?" "Shopping I guess, I need a few things. Clothes I mean." She began finishing off her juice. "Mind if I join?" She started choking on her juice. "Oi" I rushed to her side, "are you alright?" She nodded, and started laughing gently. "Nani yo" I almost snapped embarrassingly. "Hontou ni? You'd go shopping with me? Clothes shopping with a girl? That's practically the worst thing to do, according to my cousin that is. He sure doesn't enjoy going shopping with his girlfriend." "Saa. That's your cousin." "I guess so." She began gathering the plates to go rinse them. "How about you go home first, your parents must be worried, and we'll meet at the Burger place later around 10am? How's that sound." "Oisu." After she finished the dishes, she walked with me to the door, "The bus stop is just over there, it'll be here in a minute." She informed me. "Ja-ne." I gave her a nod and walk to the bus stop. I hopped on the bus and thought about what I just did. How strange. Why had I done that? I never liked shopping. I used to hate walking anywhere with anyone. I remember that time I took her to that tennis shop. That seemed to be half a pain. I didn't understand her then, I basically didn't care. I wanted to get my job done to go home and compete with my old man. I have changed, but what is it about her that makes me doing such stupid things. I don't understand this. I don't understand her. I don't understand myself!  
  
"Ryoma-san where have you been?!" Nanako cried as soon as I entered the door. "I went for a walk." "A walk over night?!" "I just got up extra early and walked." "Really?" she sighed a sigh of relief. "Uh" I walked past her and upstairs to bathe and change. I did more thinking. That's all I seem to do lately.  
  
*Sakuno*  
  
Ryoma-kun. As I lay on a bunch of pillows I had collected over the years in my living room, all I could do was think about him. I couldn't say no to him before, I don't think I really wanted to. I thought I was over you Ryoma-kun. After all that's happened, how could I be so selfish as to only think of myself. My selfishness and stupidity has only taken me here. I should keep my distance and just be good friends with him.not unless he suddenly changes back into his old self. In a way.I kind of hope he does, so this worry can go away.  
  
"Neh kuma-san what should I do?" I picked up a pillow that looked like a bear.  
  
* * * *Ryoma*  
  
"Omatase!" (Sorry for the wait) she ran up to me. "Ii yo betsuni." "Let's go" I nodded and we headed off.  
  
*Inui* Hmm..a date. I took out my cell phone and dialed. "Kikumaru. It's Inui." "hoi hoi?" "It's a date. Echizen and Ryuzaki Sakuno."  
  
"Nani?!" "Want to follow them?" (and so forth)  
  
*Ryoma*  
  
"How are you holding up?" she asked me. "Fine." "It's going to be winter soon, I better get some more warm clothes," she said shuffling through some items. She grabbed a bunch. "Matte kudasai. I'm going to try it on. You can sit over there." She pointed to a seat near the changing curtains. I guess it's not so bad. A bit boring at times, but being with her is a little different to seeing Momo around Ann. I think she likes him, but I don't know about him. "Ryoma-kun, how's this." She stepped out. She was wearing a light blue jacket, short white pleated skirt, with a blue scarf, and thigh-high socks as well as white leg warmers. "Ryoma-kun." She had her face right up close to mine. "DEH!." I flew back against the wall almost tipping over in my chair. "What do you think? Say something since you were gawking." She put her hands on her hips. "Ii yo betsuni." It was far better than that, she looked beautiful. "Hmm, I'll take that as a good comment, since I can't pull much more of a comment out of you." She bounced back into the changing room and went for another out fit. In and out she went, each one looking great on her, though she only bought three outfits. "Ahh tanoshikatta." She sighed. She looked so happy, I just dug my hands in my pocket and smiled to myself. I felt something in my pocket. "Oh Sakuno. Here, is this yours?" "My bracelet. Thank you so much, where did you find it?" her eyes lightened up even more. "At the tennis court after you played Momo senpai."  
  
Meanwhile.  
  
"Ahh Chibi just gave her a bracelet!!" "Yarou, where did he learn stuff like that," Momo said laughing. "I wonder if that really is a date. They're not holding hands." Oishi said. "IT'S A DATE!!" they all yelled at him. All meaning, Inui, Momo, Eiji, and Kaidoh. "Kssshhhh." Kaidoh hissed in embarrassment at being in this ridiculous spy group. "Chibi getting this far is far enough. First time we've seen him with a girl. First time we get to see him give a girl a present." Eiji started laughing to himself. "Ah Inui who are you calling?" Oishi asked. "So that's the case, you want to come Te.." Once again Tezuka hung up on Inui. "AHH THEY'R HOLDING HANDS INUI!!" He turned to see, that Ryuzaki Sakuno had grabbed Echizen's wrists and had him running with her. "See it is a date nya." "Hurry let's follow them." Momo cried. The crew charged after the two, keeping in a safe distance.  
  
*Ryoma*  
  
I was running after her now. "I have an idea! How about we look at some clothes for you Ryoma-kun!" So, here we were in a store that held male and female clothing, but she didn't pay any attention to female clothing this time. She shuffled through the male rack and produced a bunch of clothing. "Ok go change!" she said with excitement in her eyes. As I stood in the changing cubicle with only the curtain to separate us, I couldn't decide what to put on. She had chosen so much stuff, Two jackets, 3 jumpers, 2 pair of pants, shirts, and hats, scarves you name it. Finally I just stepped after mixing some clothes together. I pulled aside the curtain to reveal myself. This is so damn embarrassing. "Ahh Suteki!" She circled around, eyeing me up and down, nodding in approval. "Very nice. Hora, next outfit." She turned me around and pushed me back into the changing cubicle. "kawaii na"  
  
"He was so handsome." "That girl is so lucky." I heard whispers as I changed. How embarrassing. All in all, I bought three outfits like her, except I didn't have all the extra accessories. "Where to next?" she pondered after we stepped out the store. "How about lunch" she nodded. "Doko darou.(Where though) Hamburgers this way, sushi that way." Looking from left to right. "You pick."  
  
"Ii yo. Sushi then." I put one hand on her shoulder to push her in the right direction.  
  
*Senpais'* Momo: Hora, he's trying to put his arm around her. Eiji: Chibi boy isn't our little chibi any more. (Getting emotional)  
  
Oishi: Oi Eiji, he stopped being chibi a long time ago. Look how tall he is. Eiji: Wakatta!! Inui: So that's the new situation, do you want to join us Tez.. (He hung up) Kaidoh: Ksshhhh. Inui: So that's the case Taka-san. Want to join us? Kawamura: Yahh..gomen. I'm working at the moment. Oh Echizen just came in. Later. Inui: Echizen just went to Taka san's sushi place. Momo and Eiji had dashed off before Inui finished his sentence.  
  
Taka San's place. Kawamura: Irasshaimase! Eh Eiji, Momo. Everyone. Eiji: Doko nya Momo: Doko doko! Kawamura: Who, what? Eiji & Momo: Echizen and Rzyuaki chan!! Kawamura: They ate then they left. Oishi: We lost them? Oi Eiji, momo. Are you alright? (The two of them were crouched down on the ground with their heads in the their hands.) Kawamura: What's wrong with those two? Oishi: Nothing. They're just in despair because we can no longer follow Echizen on his first date. Kawamura: Dee-to?!! Inui: Didn't it look like one? It did to us. Kawamura: Well I suppose. They did a lot of shopping, that's all I noticed. They all sighed, and sat down to eat.  
  
5:00pm Momo: Can't believe we lost them!! Eiji: Shinjirarenai. Inui: By the look of those two, you would have thought it was something really depressing. (Eyeing the two draping all over the park bench on top of the hill) Momo: It IS depressing Kaidoh: Ksshhh. Shut up. Momo: TE-ME. You want to go at it?! Kaidoh: Kshh Bring it!! Oishi: Oi yamete yo. Ahh. (he gives up in trying to break the two) By the way, where's Fuji today? Inui: He's phone has been switched off all day. (Momo and Kaidoh are yelling in the background.) Eiji: CHIBI!! (He sprang back to life) He's over there! He's walking with her down there. All: HOH!! (They all made a quick dash to lower themselves to the ground to stay out of sight.) "What are you all doing?"  
  
All: Fuji! Tezuka! Eiji: Look Fuji, Chibi has himself a girlfriend. It's for real this time. Inui: Looks like you did want to come Tezuka. (He grinned) Oishi: Where have you been Fuji. Fuji: I've been training with Tezuka. Momo: Let's go! Kaidoh: Yarou! Where do you think you're going?! We're not done yet! (And so they all ran off.)  
  
Fuji: Omoshiroi. Let's go Tezuka. (So Tezuka follows reluctantly.with that stern look he has..I wish he'd smile just once.)  
  
*Ryoma*  
  
I couldn't believe it was time to go home already, but also at the same time, it was finally time to go home. As I walked her back to her house, she grew extremely quiet. Maybe she's just tired, considering how energetic she was all day. I walked her up to her doorstep. She hesitated with her back turned to me. Then she just turned around and kissed me on the cheek. "Thank you for today Ryoma-kun. It was the most fun I've ever had. Even before.that. I'm glad to have seen another side to you this once." She looked like she was going to cry. I placed both hands on her shoulder and in return kissed her gently on the cheek as well. "We'll find time to do it again. Thanks for today as well. It was..not how I thought shopping would be, it was different." Kuso. Suddenly I'm at a lost for words. "I'm glad you could be happy today." She smiled and pulled my hands off her shoulder and held them. "Be careful on your way home, and from now on. Ryoma-kun." "Uh. Ja." Then I left to catch the bus once more.  
  
*Senpais'*  
  
All but Tezuka, Fuji, and Inui were standing there with the jaws dropped. Momo: D-did you see that? Eiji: unh nya. Oishi: she kissed him. Momo, Eiji, & Kaidoh: HE KISSED HER! Fuji: Omoshiroi na. (Inui is busily scribbling in his notebook) Tezuka: All of you, 100 laps tomorrow morning. All but Fuji & Inui (as always) : NANI Tezuka: Wasting time like this. Come extra early.100 laps, or do you want more. Kaidoh: Ksshhh. Eiji: Cheh.it was interesting. Momo: Buchoo, you'll be running with us. You came along too. They all grinned at him evilly. Tezuka: I'm leaving. They all laughed and departed home.  
  
My chapters are getting a bit lengthy..can't stop once I start to get into detail. Sorry peoplez!! 


	7. Punishment

Chapter 07 - Punishment  
  
*Ryoma*  
  
"Ahh senpai tachi. You're all here already. Did I miss something?" Ryoma arrived for early practice when he saw all the senpais lying all over the place panting. "BAKA YAROU this is all your fault Echizen!" Momo-senpai lashed out at me. "deh, nande?" he dropped back onto the ground. "Oh chibi!!" Kikumaru senpai called out menacingly to me. He crawled slowly up to me. I backed up against the fence. "Na-nani yo!" He stuck his face close. "We saw you. We all saw you yesterday."  
  
No way! He must be talking about tennis training last night. "We saw you with Ryuzaki chan." Suddenly they surrounded me like a bunch of zombies. "Th-th-that was..uh" "IT WAS A DATE." they all stated. "Ma-maybe." I looked over at Tezuka buchou. He stood perfectly straight, arms folded and looked at me. I walked over to him. "So what do I have to do?" I asked. "Twenty laps." I ran off.  
  
*Senpais'*  
  
"Hidoii Tezuka! Chibi didn't do anything wrong." Eiji cried. "That's twenty laps of warming up. Do we not have practice soon?"  
  
"Ahh nya.." "All of you off!" "NANI!!!" "Or is it 30 laps then." They looked at him stricken. "Or is it Inui's special juice?" "TWENTY!!" They bolted off at the mention of that horrible drink.  
  
*Sakuno*  
  
Yesterday was the last. It would be the last time I should allow myself to get that close to him. If only this had happened a long time ago. When I almost had a chance, there are things preventing me from it. Yada, what am I thinking. I'm far from a chance. He's just sympathizing for me. Yeh that's it. That's all.  
  
I let all my frustration out on the arrow I was going to release. It's nice and cloudy today. No glares so that I am able to practice archery on the outside course. There is so much more distance from the target out here. Arrow after arrow. I wasn't through yet. It's best to practice here, where I won't be reminded of tennis or accidentally run into him.  
  
*Senpais*  
  
"Oi Echizen!! Why did you stop!" the crazy crowd reached Echizen who was standing rooted to a spot. They followed his gaze, and sure enough there she was. Perfect form, shooting her arrows. 25M? maybe 50 m at least from the target, and she was getting them. "Naiya, I never thought you'd get so so serious about Ryuzaki chan." Momo said putting his hand on Echizen's shoulder. He remained quiet. "Oi Echizen. Daijoubu kai." Usually he would have snapped back for sure. "Neh Ochibi." Eiji stepped up and put his arm around Echizen. "Wakannai. Everytime I try to clear my thoughts, she's there. I want to figure out this frustrating feeling, and everytime I think that I can figure it out. She's there and it makes me fall back to the beginning again." Echizen finally said quietly. "This is where you come in Oishi-mama" Inui said. They all snickered. He tried to ignore it, but they wouldn't let him. "Mama, help chibi! Where's your compassion for your kids now nya?" Eiji said. More snickering followed. "Ii yo betsuni." Echizen jogged off. They all just followed him and after they were done, they all lay on the ground panting. "Inui, make some deluxe juice." Tezuka commanded. "NANI!!" "You all stopped before. Don't think I didn't see. I won't forgive anyone who breaks those rules." "ECHIZEN!!!!" they all cried.  
  
Think I'll stop here for now. If you have any comments just forward it. 


	8. Private Talk

Chapter 08 - Private Talk  
  
"Te-me mamushi!..." Once again Momo-senpai was raving on about Kaidoh senpai, but I didn't pay attention what so ever. "Oi Echizen." He pulled me back by my shoulder. "Nanska." "Let's go have a game of street tennis." "Nande." "Hayaku. You'll see soon enough." If he was bringing me to be a third party in his 'date' with Ann then forget it. We arrived there and found it empty. "Man she's pretty good." Momo senpai muttered. "No one is here though." "Let's play then." We settled in a game. I was about to serve when he spoke up. "Echizen, what's wrong with you these days. Senpai tachi are worried about you." "Betsuni." I served. "I know, or rather, we all know it has something to do with Ryuzaki chan." He returned my serve easily. "Urusai." "There's nothing to be ashamed of to like and care for someone." I straightened registering those words in my mind and I missed. "You've been acting strange for two weeks now, since that date you had." "Urusai! You don't want to play do you? I'm leaving then" I walked off, and immediately a ball striked the back of my head. "Yarou.." "BAKA YAROU! You both have something for eachother, why are you denying it? Are you that ashamed of her or something?" "I'm not ashamed! I want to be with her!" I smashed a ball back at him. "Don't give me words with no feeling in it!" he yelled and returned the ball. "She's been avoiding me all this time! Taku, what am I supposed to do?!" I said viciously. "Baka! Go talk to her! You expect a girl to go up to you?" "She avoids me, she doesn't look at me. Maybe I shouldn't have changed. I wouldn't have all these problems if I remained the way I always was!" "You're afraid to let yourself go." He let the ball go past him and he looked at me. "What do I have to be afraid of." "You were always cold, annoying, a bit of a bastard." I raised my racket at him, and he held up his hands in surrender but he kept talking. "But Ryuzaki has changed you. You were always cold and-" I glared at him. "a- and the rest, but you were only that because of your determination to beat your old man wasn't it? That's all you cared about, and now that you have beaten him, you open up to us more. You hated it when people distracted you from training. That's all you ever did Echizen." I opened my mouth to say something but he cut in. "You can only so far in discovering your feelings on your own, the rest is from the people you allow into your life. Some can just come, some will force their way in, but if you really want to grasp it, you have to build yourself the chance." "Momo-senpai.." "Yahh when did I get so serious." He laughed scratching his head. "But that's what I really think Echizen. Take the chance. Don't let it slip by because you might be afraid of something like that. Nothing will belong to you if you don't give it a try."  
  
The wind blew around us, as we faced eachother. "A-arigato senpai." "So let's play." We played until we were both exhausted and headed home. "Senpai." "un..?" "You said she was good. Who were you talking about?" "Uh? Oh Tachibana's kid sister. I asked her to keep the courts clear today." "Sou." He patted my head. Although I was a lot taller now, it was a habit he couldn't stop. 


	9. Self Confession

Chapter 09 - Self Confession  
  
*Ryoma*  
  
Am I afraid. What is there to be afraid of. There's so much to be afraid of.what if she doesn't feel the same way, I'd feel like an idiot. I would have shown my soft side for nothing. "Nothing will belong to you, if you don't give it a try." Was what Momo- senpai said. 'Wakatta dakedo." (I get that but..) "A lot of people change for the better." Was what she said. I didn't feel like this because she changed.I really missed her when she was gone. Could a tragedy really change someone so much? She's come back independent, skilled, angered and lonely. The Sakuno back in Junior high, couldn't hit a ball without falling over, she couldn't do anything on her own without being afraid or hesitant. And now she stayed out late for practise .for reasons other than practise I know, she shoots arrows with determination and anger and so much more. I've changed over the year little by little because of the senpais, but I'm still the same person.Wait, who am I trying to kid? I opened up more than ever whenever I'm around her.I did things I never did, said things I never said, acted the way I never thought I could act like before.  
  
If I really didn't want this to happen, I would have closed myself up and ignored it, but I've been thinking about it all this time. Does that mean I'm not afraid to show a better side to Sakuno? It never occurred to me about having sides, I'm just myself. But just to see her smile, I acted and talked a way I never did before. She triggered something in me that happens automatically. The things I might otherwise have hesitated to do if I didn't feel so strong for her. I'm feeling so much, anger, frustration, need, hurt, a happiness I've never felt before, and.love?  
  
I couldn't believe it, without her I was missing out on so much. The most simplest of things and I was missing out on them. She's not just anyone, she got through my stubbornness, coldness and stupidity...AHHHHHHHHH MADA MADA DANE!!!!!!  
  
I gave up and flopped to a side on my bed and fell asleep. 


	10. No hope

Chapter 10 - No hope  
  
*Sakuno*  
  
"Hai wakarimashita. Henki da yo, Kira kun. Unh Unh. Arigato. Ja." I looked at the phone in my hands. My cousin Kira, he calls up every week to check on me. That's so sweet of him, but would he still be like that if he knew the truth? He loved my parents a lot, even more than his own parents, because they treated him so poorly. He wouldn't forgive me if he knew.  
  
It's been two weeks now since I last talked to Ryoma kun. I miss him so much. It was harder than I thought to avoid him. In Junior high, I had to search and look everywhere just to find him, and now he pops up every where I go.  
  
I settled back into my nest of pillows and turned on my music that droned on endlessly. I want to see him. Knock knock knock 'Massaka.'(it can't be) My heart pounded in anticipation that it might be him. I opened it, and there stood a stranger. "Hai?" I ask lightly. "A large package for Ryuzaki san." The man said brightly. "Ah hai. Chotto." I ran to get my stamp. I then stamped it in the right place and took my package. "And have a good birthday miss." The man said before he tipped his hat and left. Birthday? I looked down at the package, and there in very large writing was Kira-kun's very bright birthday message. That's right, my birthday was in four days.  
  
It wouldn't hurt to open it now. I sat in my pillow nest and opened the box carefully. I couldn't believe it! I took out the two little chubby traditional Japanese porcelain dolls. The prince and the princess! The ones I had wanted ever since I was a child. Kira kun had remembered. My eyes spilled over with tears, at how thoughtful he could be. It was always too expensive for us kids to buy.  
  
Something caught my eye on the princess doll. A tag? I looked at it. "Stop your crying, and look further in the box!" he had written. I laughed to myself, he knew me too well! I pawed through the box and came out with more little dolls. But these were all soft. A family set? The emperor, empress, prince, princess, children, even the servants. It was so adorable.  
  
I settled them all on the ground and picked up the porcelain prince. Ryoma- kun..even though it was short and chubby, it kind of reminded me of him. I held it to me and let my tears slide off my face freely.  
  
"unh?" someone was knocking on my door again. I quickly dried my tears, and settled the prince down I went to open the door.  
  
*Ryoma*  
  
I waited impatiently for her to open the door. I put my hand up against the side of her door and panted heavily. I had sprinted to her place. The first time I took my walk, I had walked around the whole neighbourbood before I got to her house, but in fact her house wasn't that far from mine.  
  
I heard the lock snap open and then she opened the door. There she was, with her hair tied up high and loosely, with a few strands at the nape of her nick. A singlet and abbreviated shorts on. She looked beautiful and for all those few times we found comfort in holding hands or each other, I ..I don't know what about them, but I only want to have her in my arms again. But this time.this time, I don't want it to be just for temporary comfort.  
  
"Ryo..ma kun." "Sa-sakuno. We--we have to talk." I said in a rush, before my breath ran out again. I finally pulled up my head to look at her, she had.tears in her eyes? I straightened up, never taking my eyes off her. "We have to talk." I repeated. She just continued to look at me, but her grip tightened on her on the door. "Something's wrong. I don't know what, but I definitely know something is wrong." I said, carefully spacing out each word. "What happened to us, Sakuno."  
  
"Wakaranai...wakaranai.. watashi ni mo!" (I don't know, I don't know anymore), her voice raising with each word. "Go home, Ryoma-kun. There's nothing more to say." She said quietly looking away, and proceeded to close the door. I put my hand on her door and stopped it. "Onegai, Ryoma-kun. Don't make this harder on me than it already is." She pleaded.  
  
"I want to talk about us."  
  
"There was never an 'US'!!" she cried almost hysterically.  
  
"I want there to be one." I evened my voice out, and mustered up as much of a serious tone as I could. I stepped inside the door and placed a hand on her arm. "I can't." she stepped back and embraced herself.  
  
"Naze." I closed the door behind me and we stood there for a long time. Me looking at her, while she looked at the ground.  
  
"Because.because, I don't feel the same way anymore. It's not there, it's not the same anymore. Those..times with you, not so long ago, it was out of selfishness. I was just trying to make myself feel better, I didn't know you would think anything other than that. I had felt nothing for you then, and I don't feel anything now. Everything before I left Tokyo was just a simple little school girl crush." She said.  
  
My body went cold, my heart stopped as I stared at her. The pain to hear those words was indescribable. I opened my mouth but I couldn't say anything. Was there no hope afterall? 


	11. Giving In

Chapter 11 - Giving In  
  
*Sakuno*  
  
I had opened the door, never expecting it to be Ryoma-kun. But there he was, standing front on facing me, leaning forward with his hand outstretched on my doorframe and breathing heavily. His long dark hair tinted aqua-green, was in his perfect face. His fringes surrounded his dark eyes, while sweat was beaded on his forehead. He wore a long white sleeve shirt, folded up to his elbows, with the top few buttons open to reveal bare skin and a dainty chain around his neck. The shirt was long, and flowed past his waist and over his dark cargo pants. He looked like a dream come true. A dream that I couldn't hold on to.  
  
And then he said it, those words that I had dreamed and wished like crazy that he would say. He wanted us to be together. But.he wouldn't if he knew what kind of person I am.so out of nowhere I had told him the biggest lie of all, I told him the very words that I was afraid to hear from HIM, everytime I ever thought about confessing my feelings.  
  
The silence around us was too quiet, and I prayed that he would just turn around and leave. It hurt me to say those things to him, when I wanted to say the exact opposite.  
  
"I don't believe you." He finally murmured. "Hontou yo." I whispered. I felt him move closer.  
  
"Look at me and say it Sakuno. Look into my eyes and tell me once more." Anything but that please.I couldn't do that. I'd fall right into his eyes if I looked up at them... 'I'll do it'. I took a deep breath and looked up, only to be met by his lips on mine. He gathered me in his arms and pressed me to him. I closed my eyes and the tears slid down my cheeks as I felt myself fall deeper and deeper into him.  
  
He finally broke our kiss, but he kept his firm arms around me. He pressed his cheek to my hair. "Don't say it." He whispered in my ear. But didn't he. "I don't want to hear those words.they're not true. I can feel it Sakuno, your resistance in those words." My eyes filled with tears again. "Tell me why. Tell me the real reason why." I pushed myself gently away from him. He cupped my face in his hands.  
  
"I want us to be together. God knows, I've never felt like this towards anyone. I miss you every moment that I'm not with you, and these past two weeks have been hell for me. I know you have a lot of problems, and I don't have to know, if you don't want to tell me. Those were my thoughts, but now, if whatever you don't want to tell me, is keeping us from being together then I have to know. I know that's selfish but.."  
  
"No Ryoma-kun. You're not the selfish one, I am."  
  
"It'll help you Sakuno. We can solve this together. I don't want you to bear this weight on your own. Perhaps getting it off you will clear things." He tried to convince me. I shook my head. "You wouldn't see me as the same person anymore. You'd find it despicable to even look at me, after I tell you."  
  
"Baka.." he said gently. "I won't. That, I can promise you." I really wanted to believe him. "I'm too afraid to tell you. I'm so scared that you'd turn away from me, when you see that I'm not really who I am."  
  
"I won't turn away from you..Please Sakuno. I want you to get better. I don't want you to live in the shadows of your problems anymore. I should have done it earlier." His words were so sweet. I finally gave in, so I nodded to tell him that I'd explain.  
  
"Let's get out of here. The weather is nice out there. It'll make you feel better. How about it?" I nodded.  
  
He held out his hand, and this time without much hesitation I took it. That one action of his made me love him more. He could just taken my hand, but instead he gave me a choice. He was allowing me to withdraw even at this moment, even though he wanted to know it so badly. So by taking his hand, I had shown him that I've made the choice to tell him it all.  
  
How you've changed Ryoma. I thought as I followed him out the door. 


	12. Guilt

Chapter 12 - Guilt  
  
*Sakuno*  
  
Although we were walking hand-in-hand, I don't know why, but I seemed to remain about two paces behind him. All I saw was his back, and the back of his head. It was like one of those dreams I sometimes had, after I'd confess, that's all I would see of him. Him walking away, and me reaching out to him. It was always blurry and incomplete. Actually there was no beginning nor end, all I ever saw was his back. Dark thoughts were brewing inside of me.  
  
*Ryoma*  
  
I was so anxious to hear what she had to tell me, I was anxious to have her in my arms again. I took her to this park. It was more of a field than a park, because there was a little hill that had over grown grass here and there. I thought it would do better, if she had a relaxing environment.  
  
When we got there, I gave her a reassuring smile and let her hand go. "Tell me when you're ready."  
  
*Sakuno*  
  
He was giving me time again. I watched him walk up to the top of the hill. He stood there with his hands in his pockets while the wind blew around him, which ruffled his hair and shirt. He looked so composed and handsome. 'That would make a really nice manga or magazine cover' I thought irrelevantly. I was so close yet so far from him. He was right there, and what I was about to tell him could change that.  
  
He turned and looked at me. 'Shimatta!' (damn/ oh no) he caught me staring at him. He gave me one of those smiles, he used to give his tennis opponents. The one sided smile, that looked really cheeky.  
  
I have to trust him. I'll never know if I don't try. I placed my palms over my heart and breathed slowly. When I opened my eyes, he was lying on the ground not so far from me, watching. It wasn't an urgent look, it was an observing look. He could be having a million thoughts behind those eyes. I went to lie down beside him, only my body was facing the other way. Our heads were close to each other, and I felt safe to know that if I looked to my left, I would meet his eyes.  
  
"Ano ne, Ryoma-kun. When I left Seigaku, it wasn't because of my parents' deaths.." I began slowly. He remained silent to listen. "I left because.my mother was in hospital, because of cancer. She was..in critical condition, so I had to return to see her. Obaachan too." I paused for a long time, as the painful memories came back. "I..I didn't make it in time. She had left, before I reached the hospital. I didn't get to see her one last time. It had been such a long time since I had, and I never got to hear her voice or feel her embrace again." My voice broke, and I felt tears running again.  
  
Ryoma-kun still didn't say anything, but he raised his left arm in the air, and motioned me to take it. I reached up and held it, and then he pulled it down and he nuzzled my cheeks with his hand. Our hands stayed clasped after that.  
  
"I..suppose I was upset..and angry. I didn't know what I thought. It hurt a lot..and at the same time, I didn't feel anything. Something.I don't want to feel again. I spent my days and nights crying. With Obaa-chan, Otoo-san and Kira kun. Kira is my cousin. After we buried her, I stayed by her side all the time. Sometimes I slept beside her grave, believing it was only a bad dream, and when I felt the cold I always remembered the past. When I was younger, I'd always fall asleep in my mothers' arms in the living room. I could still hear her say "Otoo-san, let's take Sakuno to her room. The sweet dear is sleeping already." And my father would carry me and she would tuck me in."  
  
While I spoke, Ryoma-kun, pulled my hand over to him and he kissed it softly and held it against his lips.  
  
"I became..stubborn. If I wasn't at the grave, I would be playing tennis. Smashing it. It took a lot off my mind while I practised tennis. It was my way of escaping. From my sorrow, from the thought of never returning to Tokyo, and from you. I played day and night. My father pleaded me to stay at home with my grandmother and Kira-kun where I would be safe. He's a detective, and there a lot of bad people who dislike him. But I paid no attention to that. I was selfish. I hated everyone for not taking care of mother. It was stupid and selfish, I know." I took a deep breath.  
  
"One day, it was cloudy and thundering, but there was no rain. I was walking along the streets with my tennis bag. I felt someone following me, but I .. Ignored and went to the street tennis court. When it became darker..and emptier, four guys approached me." I squeezed my eyes shut.  
  
Ryoma-kun sat up in alarm. "They-they didn't do anything to.harm you did they?!!" "Chigau..(no).not in THAT way." He let out a sigh of relief. He went back to lying down, but this time he lay horizontally to me and placed his head on my stomach and looked up at me while I talked. He kept my hand close to his chest. It was the sweetest moment of my life, if only I wasn't talking about this.  
  
"I was um.kidnapped. I can't remember much after someone hit me. When I woke up, I was in an abandoned warehouse. I saw those guys lying on the ground..dead.and.and my father lay not far from them. He had been stabbed..alot. His last words were "Thank god you're safe Sakuno. I'm sorry about your mother, and I know I was never home enough for you. Take care and I love you." Then he too.left me. He had tried to rescue me and had died. One of the top members of the defense and detective force, and he died because of a stupid and selfish daughter like me!!!" 


	13. You and Me

Chapter 13 - You and Me  
  
*Ryoma*  
  
She sat up and began crying her heart out. I quickly pulled her in my arms and tried to soothe her by stroking her hair.  
  
So that's what it is..she was blaming herself. Under her smiles, calm voice, the isolation she was suffering from guilt. She was just as lost and uncertain as she was at Seigaku.  
  
"Then after his funeral.I (sob sob) took various cl-classes like Kira-kun suggested." She continued.  
  
It was hard to understand, but I guess, if you weren't in that position you wouldn't understand the suffer and guilt. Sakuno. She was always apologetic even when it wasn't her fault, but now, actually then.she really believed it was her fault.  
  
"I killed my parents as much as others did Ryoma-kun. How can I love anyone, when I can't ever forgive myself for being so selfish? How can I let anyone love me for the stupidity I possess?" she rested her head in defeat on my arm. I pulled back up against my chest and kept her secure between my arms and legs.  
  
"It wasn't selfishness. It wasn't stupidity. It was sorrow that you had to get away from." I began slowly. "You did what you felt like could help you forget or recover. You wanted to do it on your own right? Build yourself, as well as not be bothersome to your father and relatives, because they too were suffering. Right? Think about it Sakuno."  
  
"That was what I wanted.." She whispered.  
  
"And you tried to do that. Sakuno, it really was just bad timing. It could have happened anytime, anywhere, when you were kidnapped I mean. I'm sure they had their eyes on you for a while, they just chose that wrong time to do it."  
  
"If I had listened to my father."  
  
"A parents' natural concern.isn't it? Didn't they say that when you were younger too?" She considered it, then she nodded.  
  
"I know it's harsh to say this but, what has happened has happened. You can't change it, even if you grieve or hate yourself. I'm sure your parents don't blame you. Surely they will be angry if you don't take care of yourself. Because they're not here to do that." She turned around to face me. Her face streaked with tears. "But I'm here to take care of you Sakuno. I'm here. I can't let you go on living the way you have any longer. I've lost you once to your going away, I'm not going to lose you again to the pain that lives in your heart because of what happened there. I want to be there. In your heart. Can you let it go and let me live in your heart?"  
  
"You've always been there Ryoma-kun. Since I met you. Even when I left Tokyo. You were always there. Your shadow had always been there, but not you. Your shadow had always been enough, because it seemed safer to keep that shadow there, when I knew I had no chance of being in yours."  
  
"No chance? You're deep in mine now. So deep in, I want to be just as in deep in your heart. I love you Sakuno." Finally those difficult words were out, but they came out so naturally I understood that those words aren't difficult or embarrassing when you really meant it.  
  
"I love you Ryoma-kun." I lowered my head and met her lips in a long passionate kiss. Then I decided to surprise so I slipped my tongue through and gently caressed her bottom lip with it. If she was really shocked, she hid it well, but not well enough. But she returned my kiss just as passionately. Finally she was mine. 


	14. Us

Chapter 14 - Us (Never again will I be Without You)  
  
*Sakuno*  
  
We stayed at that hill all afternoon and all night. He always had his arms encircled around me, and I felt really warm and safe. Our hands remained entwined and our lips met from time to time. It was a night that I would never forget.  
  
"Sakuno." He said while we sat on the hill together and looked at the sea of stars in the night sky. "It's not a pain that can be forgotten so easily, but in time it will fade. Don't live in the past, although the past may linger within you."  
  
"Arigato Ryoma-kun...where did you learn to say such meaningful and sweet things?" I couldn't help asking.  
  
"Nowhere, I used to do a lot of thinking, and those uh.deh sweet things, just---comes out when I talk to-you." He suddenly stuttered.  
  
I began giggling. "Na-nani yo." He demanded. I just shook my head and kept laughing softly at him.  
  
"Ka-kawaii yo." And even in the dark I saw him blush. Then he just pulled me in for another long kiss.  
  
*Sometime later*  
  
I watched him from up in the stands as he was starting his match. The senpais were beside me, and they, as always looked composed.  
  
"Kono yarou." Momo-senpai said laughing. "Already provoking his opponent."  
  
"Ochibi-chan ganbatte!!" Eiji senpai cried out. "Make your girlfriend proud!!!" they yelled out together.  
  
I just smiled to myself. Ryoma-kun is still Ryoma-kun. Just older and wiser, but that side of his, that cold and annoying attitude to his opponents will always be there. Of course, and his skills too. We will always remain the same, just years to our lives and incidents that happen adds on top of that. It moulds and reshape us a little, but we'll never lose our true self.  
  
"I'll make this fast, so you can get out of your misery." I heard him say. His opponent looked stricken and angry at the same time, but he only trailed his eyes up to me and winked.  
  
My Ryoma-kun.  
  
*Ryoma*  
  
After I won the game, I trudged up to the stands, and headed straight towards her. Her welcoming eyes, her beautiful smile, I went to where she stood. "Omedetou Ryoma-kun" she said wiping away my sweat with her handkerchief. I looked to my left and we had an audience. The senpais were actually just only standing one metre away bunched together and staring at us. I put my right arm around her waist and pulled her up close to me, I leaned in, but just as I was about to touch her lips, I pulled my cap off my head and covered our faces just as we kissed.  
  
"ECHIZEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" everyone cried. It was fun teasing them, but even better knowing that she was mine. My Sakuno.  
  
She began laughing and I quickly pulled her away and we ran out of the stands, before the senpais started hurling stuff at us.  
  
*Ryoma & Sakuno* Our first and last thoughts?  
  
It's not longer you and I, it is US, and never again will we be without eachother.  
  
~~Owari~~  
  
Finally I'm done. So what did you think? Kinda a bit too sweetsie at times, but I guess that's how I want Ryoma to be. Hope you enjoyed it. 


End file.
